30.07.2017

The perspective of a single girl

iulie 30, 2017 0

To be a single girl isn’t easy sometimes and the truth be told, I grow up with all this people on my age being in relationships and that made me think that’s like a thing that must happen in your teenage years. I’ve never had a boyfriend, but I’ve always been a hopeless romantic and watching all of this people being together and having myself two major crushes I started to learn a few things of how this really work.

A broken heart just as love come in many ways.  You can love a country, a song, a tv show or a person and a pet and your heart can be broken by a failure in your life, some bad news, the death of a dear person or of a dear pet. Life Is not always pink, most of the things we are getting through are harder and if I can say, all this love chasing is just getting things more complicated.


"I wasn't actually in love, but I felt  a sort of tender curiosity." 
-F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

It’s funny how, every time I had a crush on someone it was always about something outside love area, siblings-kind-of-thing, or falling for the mysterious guy that never talk to anyone. Most of the guys i like are likely to be a cliche and that because i didn't liked them as a person, i liked something about them, and not the real person inside them. Oh, this world, like used more often then love but why? Because love become such a complex concept that we are afraid of. Afraid of brokenheart, afraid of all of this package of  pain that comes with it. Love used to be so easy, so pure and beautiful that it's hard to believe it's not just the main thing in a fairytale. Some people have their fairytales and that give me hope that one day in my life i will find the one i've been looking for in my teenage years. True, i don't know when that's going to happen,  i can turn 30 and still be waiting, but i don't care, because i have to build myself first.

Who said the television don’t influence our choices? Before my freshman year in highschool I’ve seen a documentary about single girls and how does Prince Charming become a cliche. They made a test taking few girls on the street and showing them so at the end they would know what kind of guy is most liked by female, and the surprised was the handsome-kind-of-guy, like a actor or singerAfter that, it happened to find Diana Florina Cosmin’s interview on Walking on letters. It was about her book, Poveștile unei inimi and I was looking forward to read it. I found the book when I went to the library with D and April and yeah, I read it in two days. She wrote about her love life and what she realized in her chase for the one. After reading the book, I found it’s site, which was about single girls and I remember I read a post about that weird habits a girl has and how embarrassing will be for your boyfriend/ husband to see them. That made me think about what is happening with your freedom when you get in a relationship, but i never really get to a conlusion about it

Most of the girl are looking for a guy like any other people are looking for clothes or cars. As a fangirl, I had lots of male crushed as actors or fictional characters and even if I’m waiting for the one, I’ve never picked guys how I’m picking books. Maybe that’s the reason I’ve never had a boyfriend after all, I’m too concerned about my future that is no place for a guy in my life right now. Sometimes what you want is not what you need, this line is keep annoying me, but in this case I’m totally fine with it. I need to improve my talent and enjoy my youth, despite my boring nature that made me act like an old lady than a young one, but that’s fine for me, because it’s me and I’ll never change that because that's the best thing of being me.

29.07.2017

Confesiunile unei fete care nu folosește produse de beauty

iulie 29, 2017 0

Recent, când am primit diploma de bac m-am mirat de cât de bine am ieșit în poză. Nu aveam fața strâmbă și chiar mi se vedea jumătatea de zâmbet caracteristică, dar am realizat că parcă ceva lipsea. Eram prea simplă, prea potato. Pentru o secundă m-am gândit că mi-ar prinde bine să folosesc niște make-up, însă ideea mi-a fugit repede din minte pentru că singurele produse de beauty care mă interesează sunt cremele de mâini, gelurile de duș, șampoanele și cremele de față, pentru că am o problemă facială care trebuie tratată cu atenție și majoritatea cremelor îmi pot arde pielea. Deci practic strictul necesar.

Mereu m-am întrebat dacă aș fii tot atât de dezinteresată de tot ce înseamnă make-up și în cazul în care nu aș fi avut această problemă și de fiecare dată răspunsul e neclar și sunt puțin dezamăgită la gândul că aș fi ajuns să adopt obiceiurile de beauty ale altor fete. Desigur, ador blogurile de beauty, chiar și vlogurile, fetele fac ceea ce se pricep mai bine și admir asta. Le urmăresc cu drag chiar dacă nu prea am nicio treabă cu beauty-ul în general. Da, am categoria, dar e doar atât, o categorie care nu include contentul pe care-l găsești în mod normal pe un blog de lifestyle. Mi-am permis să-l personalizez puțin pentru că, în fond, folosesc și eu produse de păr, oje și toate cele, doar că produsele de înfrumusețare facială sunt un MUST pe care nu-l pot neglija, rămânând loc pentru vestitele creme hidratante de care v-am povestit.

În iarnă, am cumpărat noua gamă de lapte demachiant de la Gerovital ce conține mac, i-am trimis poză unei colege experte în beauty și mi-a spus că produsele celor de la Gerovital sunt unele dintre cele mai bune de pe piață. Am folosit crema cam câteva luni până când s-a terminat, iar mami mi-a cumpărat tot ceva de la Gerovital, doar că de data asta nu mai era mac, ci H3. A fost una dintre cele mai bune creme pe care le-am folosit vreodată, ba chiar am folosit-o în ziua când am făcut pozele pentru diploma de bac, în ciuda stresului prin care am trecut dimineața aia cu plimbatul pe la doctor și a ploii matinale pentru că era Aprilie și trebuia să mai și plouă, iar cum am tendința să mă înroșesc la față destul de des, crema aceea mi-a păstrat fața perfectă pentru ședința foto, chiar dacă puteam să jur în ziua aceea că aveam să ies oribil și în poza aceea.

Recent, crema cu H3 s-a terminat și am început să folosesc un produs mai nou de la Garnier care îmi ardea fața și pe care nu l-am putut suporta mai multe de o săptămână. Întoarsă la crema cu mac, de câteva zile simt usturimi și nu știu cum să mai fac să scap de ele și cel mai probabil o să renunț și la crema asta în favoarea unora naturale până când ajuns să îmi iau altă H3.

Obișnuiam să folosesc cremă hidratantă de la plafar anii trecuți, chiar și în Germania obișnuiam să îmi dau în fiecare dimineață cu o cremă de gălbenele, dar cea cu H3 e singura care mi s-a părut că și-a făcut treaba, în ceea ce privește produsele consacrate și nu pe cele naturale.

Reacția mea în ceea ce privește poza m-a surprins puțin pentru că nu mă așteptam să fiu atât de șocată de propria față care nu era nici ștearsă, nici strâmbă, care era doar eu, fără nicio pată de culoare pe pielea mea palidă. Totuși, în ciuda acestei mici observații, îmi e drag de cum am ieșit și ar fii drăguț să am norocul și de alte poze la fel de reușite.

Ca fată ce nu folosește produse de make-up, trebuie să recunosc că mereu am fost fascinată de ele, încă de la produsele de frumusețe din gama Bella for teens despre care am auzit acum mai bine de patru ani, de care nici nu știu sigur dacă au apărut în România. Nu știu dacă e vorba de curiozitate, dar țin minte desenele acelea care apăreau în campania BFT și cred că de asta mi-a și rămas această mică fascinație pentru produsele de beauty chiar dacă nici nu folosesc.

High school memories when there is no yearbook

iulie 29, 2017 0

When i was in middle grade i was sure that high school will be more like High school musical and Glee, for some reason ( thank you Disney Channel and ZuTV). But now, when i already finished high school i realised it wasn't that way at all. Maybe that's because we are in Romania and not in a american movie.

I wasn't the only romanian kid that was dreaming about lockers in school, but i think i was one of the few that wanted that YearBooks. To be honest, i still don't really know what's that great about them, but the idea itself fascinated me so, in this post i'm going to share with you my high school years as much as i can remember. 

From the shy kid i become a better version of myself i'm really proud of because, even if i'm still an outsider that don't fit to any social group, i learned how to understand myself and that helped me a lot.  

Freshman (9th grade )

On my first day i went with my dad, but i told him to go when we made it to the gates because i wanted to get there alone. I was very shy and unsure in that time and i remember i called a girl who went on the same middle school as mine and told her i'll be waiting for her at the gate, which i didn't. I'm not sure why but i still feel a little bad about it. I made my way on the back looking at the people and trying to not look like a bunny in a place full of wolfs. I was waiting  and keep telling myself that everything will be ok and then i saw a familiar face somehow. It was a girl from our facebook class group and with all my shyness i come to her and said "Hello, your name is ( her name )?'' and that was her, i was so happy i remembred her name and i didn't misspelled it. Somehow, we managed to find the other classmates and get in our class. First impression? That class was ugly, but in time i get used to it and i started to love it.

I was shy and my deskmate was so energic and talkative and every break i decide to just stay in my desk, drinking chocolate milk and minding my own business. I remember i was a fan of Demi Lovato and one of the girls behind me was listening rock bands and was feeling kinda shamed of listening Demi Lovato when she was listening such cool bands. My 15 years old mind, i was a freshman after all. I was shamed, but at some point i become a Big Time Rush fan and i actually asked her where i can buy a t-shirt with them and in that time i wasn't that shamed at all.

One morning, i was walking on the hallway on my way to my class and there was a guy with a girl and she told me "This boy likes you", and i ignored them and come to my class. They followed me and the girl was keep asking me to be this guy's girlfriend. Being shy and quiet i said no but they were starting to annoy me and i didn't know how to get rid of them.

Also, on 9th grade i get dressed as a Shadowhunter, but i don't exactly remember why, it was a little activity at McDonalds when we painted masks and i remember i started to paint the lips red and it looked like it was blood so my mask end up being a Hitler-Vampire (yeah, i'm a weird kid).


Sophomore ( 10th grade )

I don't really remember what i did in 10th grade, to be honest. I was at a event with speakers and i was so happy to be there that i was a little sad when the moment come to go back to school. Another event, but this time with a book launch and somehow i met  my step-grandfather and he get me the author's autograph and she also gave me her phone number. I'm still a little confused about her phone number and why would she give it to me because i never called her. 

After that, i went with my classmate so she can smoke and i met two guys from another classes and both has the same name. One of them was so surprised to hear i'm naturally blonde and i still think that was weird, but was also something nice to hear.

In that period of time, i was in a group, if i can say. And that made me feel like i was in a movie for teenagers and young adults, but with this group i had most of the greatests memories in high school. Also, i wrote a few books based on that.

In Spring, Raymond went in my city invited by Vodafone and D really wanted to meet him and me and, hm...let's name her April (she knows why). Me and April went downtown to get his authograph for D, but she managed to come and she talked to him, they took a few selfies and we watched him singing.

In summer, when i was still in school i went to a ecological project to collect things that people throw wherever they get. And not to mention that time i was twitting, but i remember we had to get out of the car and on the radio was James Bayand i get a little sad because i couldn't stay in the car to listen to it. Hold back the river, let me looking in your eyes, hold back the river, hold back, lonely water please let as wonder. But i have to admite i had a lot of fun and i really enjoyed it. I sang Smell like teen spirit with a few kids from my group and that song from Maroon 5, this summer's gonna hurt... 

On the second trip, when D had the chance to come with us, we went to Dâmbovicioara and somehow i found myself walking in front of the group and looking up at the rocks and the trees like i was in a feerical place. 

Junior ( 11th grade )

When Diana Cosmin announced she's going to publish her blog in february i was so happy and i remember i actually tried to stay awake in that night to see her blog, but i forgot and i check it out in the next few days. 

And because there is at least someone to fall for in high school, i went with my group on the hallway on our way to our class and i found myself staring at a guy who was staring at me. I wasn't awear of what i was doing but i remember i looked back when i passed the corner he was looking after me. It was one of the moments that melt my heart and it wasn't because of a movie or a book
. This part of my 11th grade is kind a long story and i will stop the tale here because there are a lot to say and it's more like a funny story then a high-school-love-kinda-thing.

My trip in Germany was a HUGE thing, since i've never been in another  country ( or an airplane ) before and to be honest, it was such a great experience for me i'm very gratefull for. It showed me how is working process in a german laboratory and how serious polish/ german people are.

Senior ( 12th grade )

There are not many things to say about this year: I won NaNoWriMo, i give up on Camp NaNoWriMo because i had to study for exams so in Spring Break i wrote a few words and studyed and when i noticed i couldn't handle both of them i quite my project for Camp but i'm planning to finish it untill November. 

On my Freshman year i noticed i was pretty good at chimistry and somehow, i decide in the following year to choose it as the 3th class for my exam, instead of Biology i hate since 5th grade. That choise i made followed me closely this year when i had to learn out of nothing some stuff that were really easy actually, but because i was too lazy to study when i got time ( shame on me ) i leave it for the last few months.

This year i learned that if you open yourself too much for someone you get to know yourself, even if smetimes it cost you a broken heart. In this school years, i opened myself in front of a few people and most of the time i got rejected or ignored, but i figured it's not a bad thing after all because they treat you says more about them than you'll ever know. 

So, my High School years were fun, crazy and very nice. I will smile everytime i will think about my classmates even if i didn't really liked them when i was in school. This last four years changed me from the shy girl to the stubborn, foolish and very lazy one, even if i was studying. I'm not really happy about it but i opened my eyes and i started to see  the world in another colors. 

My College Files

As i said, i'm very lazy and because of that i risked to faill the exam. But i passed and i think we should focus on this part. I had no idea how to handle the papers and i end up doing them very randomly and a little wrong.

A few months ago, i decide to take the risk to go to Sibiu for College. Which, in that time seemed so risky and right to do. I went to Sibiu and signed up and i got acceptet, and then i signed on my hometown's university where i got accepted as well and i'm talking about spots without fees. 

For some reason, everyone turned against me and telling me to stay home because of my health problems or simply for my financiar status. Also, there were people that were encouraging me to go to that town and i got confused. For an amount of time i wasn't really sure what i was going to do after all. 

I took a few moments for myself to think about what i was going to do and i took the hardest decision in my life, and that's because it felt the right thing to do for me, even if it was hurting me a little. Sometimes, what you want it's what what you need, and in this case, i wasn't ready to start my College Life in a other town so the reason i stay is on a personal kind. 

I can't wait to start the College and actually start to learn stuff ( don't trown tomatos, i know it's still summer and usually people are looking to have fun ). The thing with the College is that for the first time in my life, i'm going to study something the 10-years-old-girl inside of me is dreaming about. And that's will sound like a clishe, but even if i don't met my prince yet or get my crown ( dream job ), it looks like my fairytale is just about to start.

I'm still a mess, an outsider, but that's me, and i don't have to change myself to make people to like me, because the ones who do will stay for free.

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